Foolish Communication

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Real communication from the idots who don’t give me jobs

Thank you so much for your application to the ******************
for the part-time editing position. I apologize for the delay in responding,
but we were overwhelmed by the response (more than 350 applications!,), and
the high quality of so many of the applicants. After much consideration we
hired a local, former-legal services attorney who has years of experience
editing law articles for a general audience. We decided that a law degree
was an added advantage for this particular editing job, and that the person
we hired had the best combination of skills and experience.

Thank you very much for your application, and your interest in the ***************

Sincerely,

***** *******
Director of Communications

I cannot even begin to point out the many flaws in this message. What is not visible here, is the fact that this woman ALSO forgot to hide the recipient list which contained a whopping 300+ e-mails. As the DIRECTOR of Communications she didn’t even understand that it is not kosher to discuss the background or qualifications of the person she chose, nor did she realize the mayhem that would ensue as a result of failing to hide the 300+ recipients.

My response to her is as follows

Ms *******,

I appreciate receiving an e-mail regarding my application status with
the *****************. Thank you, also, for providing the
e-mails of the 350 other applicants who were rejected, so that I may
network with them. Let me first express my great happiness in not
being chosen for the position. After reviewing your generous offering
of the “chosen” candidate’s credentials, I feel that I was perhaps
over qualified. I understand that in this time of quick-and-easy
electronic communication, mistakes are made; however, to witness such
a mistake from a Director of Communications, I am utterly astonished.
In my position as Budget Analyst Manager and Public Relations
Consultant at *********** I never encountered such a lack in quality
control, even from students. The result of your failure to hide the
addressee list does not aggravate or embarrass me; rather, the mistake
re-affirms my belief that all too often, the quality of one’s work
experience is tantamount to that of a title.

I wish you and your colleagues the best of luck this year with your
endeavors at the ***************.

Respectfully yours,

***** *********

My communication with most has not always been this grim…..take a look at the following:

I write follow-up e-mails to initiate further contact with the interviewer, and so they will keep in touch with me regarding a decision. Note that the names have been changed to respect the privacy of the individuals discussed.

Jamie

Thank you for contacting me and setting up the interview. I really enjoyed meeting with you and Andy to discuss everything in further detail. Since speaking with you both I have become really enthused about the position. Below are my references. Please let me know if there is anything else I may provide for you.

Best,

Lucy
~~~~~~~~~~
She wrote back, aw, shucks, how sweet.

Hi Lucy,

We have not made a decision as of yet. But wanted to thank you for sending your references.
If there is anything else we should need, we will let you know.

Thank you for taking the time to sit down with Andy and myself. We enjoyed speaking with you, and wish
you the best of luck whether it is in this position or another.

Regards,
Jamie

EXCUSE ME? DID she just start her sentence with BUT. Everyone learns that this is a huge no no in KINDERGARTEN. “best of luck whether in this position or another?” Nice try at the easy let down, better luck next time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here is one of my favorites

The person’s name is Michael….not not only did he misspell his OWN name, but he misspelled mine (which is not really lucy but you get the point).

Hi Lcuy,

Thnaks fro snending me a note. I would like to shchedlue a tmie to meet with you somtime this week. What are your availables?

Regards,
Micheal

Hmm, he must have been texting me from his blackberry. Maybe. Who knows. Eh, i’ll cut him some slack.

It is ALWAYS weird when….
The person you’re communicating with doesn’t know when to STOP.

It usually goes something like this. I e-mail my resume and cover letter, expressing interest and such. They write back a few hours later with the all too typical Dear/Best Regards formatting. After the initial contact, these people seem to feel so comfortable with me that they don’t even use names, just letters in names. For example: Dear L come to my office on tues. thnx, K.
I write back to confirm, then they write back to confirm that I confirmed. At this point my inbox is getting full and I don’t think it is necessary to reply. Then they write again, worried because I didn’t respond to their confirmation of my confirmation. I write back saying that I got both e-mails. They write back with a terse, “Ok thats great, have a nice weekend, what are your plans?” Um excuse me? I’ll just pretend that was a rhetorical question. I ignore it, and obviously, get another e-mail. Hi L this is K just making sure you got my e-mail. I am compelled to respond. Should I be honest and go into intimate detail of how I will be washing my car, showering, throwing a dinner party, and drinking copious amounts of Vodka? Why not.
Some people just don’t know when to stop.

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