This is what happens when I get turned down for remedial b.s. jobs
I applied for a PART TIME retail sales position
The “accountabilities and requirements” for the position are as follows:
-Greeting all walk-in customers promptly and delivering “friendly and attentive service”
-Understanding your merchandise – the features, advantages and benefits
-Remaining current and knowledgeable on register systems
-Maintaining your own “area of pride” (i.e., portion of the selling floor for which you are responsible for keeping clean and “shoppable”
-Outgoing personality
-Comfortable in a fast paced sales environment
-Complete flexiblity with schedule (will vary dependent upon need)
-Prior shoe sales experience preferred.
-A natural finesse to assist multiple clients at the same time
What it really means:
When someone comes in, say hi, ask what they need, get the damn comission, find the shoes in the stock room, know how to ring ‘em up. Show up the next day and do it all over again.
I have:
-Previous experience in retail sales, including shoes
-A degree from the #1 Public University in the world
-Experience in finance, sales, marketing, public relations etc
I’m sharp as a damn tack and (as this is MEN’s SHOES) as a woman, I can make sales faster than you can blink your eye.
You might be wondering, ok…then why the hell look for a retail sales job ….because…the job market is terrible. Thanks to el presidente arbusto.
The following is the communication between myself and the hiring rep
Dear Lucy,
Thank you for submitting your applicant profile for the position of Sales Associate-Men’s Shoes, Part Time: *****(Location)**** with (rhymes with) Loomingdale’s.
Although your qualifications are impressive, and we would like to consider all applicant profiles submitted for employment, our needs limit our selections. Therefore, at this time we will not be moving forward with your candidacy for the position of Sales Associate-Men’s Shoes, Part Time: San Francisco. We will keep your information in our active database and consider you if an appropriate opportunity becomes available.
Sincerely,
Mikey
Loomingdale’s Human Resources
My response is as follows, and remains un-answered. (just sent it in 5 min ago)
Mikey, (an aside, his name makes me wanna say “he likes it!”)
Thank you for your polite e-mail. Might I ask, which qualifications (aside from previous shoe sales at Loomingdale’s) do I lack, which would make me a less than desirable candidate for this position? I feel, in general, that my skills in other areas (professional and scholastic) have more than prepared me for a career in retail sales. I was rather confident when applying for this entry-level, part-time position, that my qualifications matched your needs, according to the standards listed. I would be available on-call, I have extensive experience in accommodating many different personality types (something which is a great asset in retail sales), my personality is not only outgoing, but warm and responsive to the needs of different individuals. Aside from these abilities, I am most sure that I would be able to carry out the task of greeting customers, making progressive sales and maintaining a client database, as well as using a cash register. Please be in touch should you re-consider.
Best,
Lucy

1 Comment
July 15, 2007 at 9:03 pm
Must be a letter mill pumping out those reject letters. I had one I’ll paraphrase: Even though you were WONDERFUL, we found someone MORE WONDERFUL than you, but do keep in touch. Smooches.
Involuntary Unemployment SUCKs big-time!!!